quiet your mind

How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others: Boost Your Self-Confidence And Become A Better Version Of Yourself

We all compare ourselves to other people even though most of us attempt to avoid it. We can compare ourselves to others by saying, “I wish I looked like so-and-so” or “I hope I were as luxurious as they are.”

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This is frequently unintentional and hard to stop, but we must educate ourselves to stop it. Career, salary, love life, grades, home, car, clothing, and even social media likes.

There are a limitless number of categories in which we might compare ourselves to others. So is the amount of people with whom we might compare ourselves.

Regularly comparing ourselves to others may motivate us to improve, but it can also deliver many negative effects.  Why are we all so inclined toward comparison with others, and how can we avoid it? Read on to learn more!

Why Do You Compare Yourself To Others?

Humans are social animals, and comparison has been prevalent throughout humanity’s history.  Social media networks constantly bombard us with ideas about our shortcomings. These applications serve as comparison traps, causing us to rethink elements of our own lives.

We tend to forget that what we see on social media is only a little slice of other people’s life. We frequently see their greatest moments but not their challenges. We usually compare our less desirable traits to others, skewing our assessment.  

How Can Comparison Affect You?

This is a challenging and long-term duty. However, creating a life based on the assumptions and wants of others can never satisfy you. The only way to live a satisfying life is to figure out who you are and what you want and then live from that vantage point. 

When you constantly compare yourself to other people, it leads to creating negative thoughts, dissatisfaction, and poor self-esteem. We grow furious with ourselves for “not becoming good enough,” or we become annoyed with others. Here are some instances of real-life comparisons:

  • When you see another lady walking down the street, you think to yourself, “I wish I were as gorgeous as her.”
  • You see a superstar posting about their exercise on Instagram and think to yourself, “If only my figure looked like his.”
  • When a colleague gives a presentation, you can’t help but think, “She’s a way more effective speaker than I am.” 

If comparisons persist, it can trigger feelings of jealousy, resentment, and despair. Chronic anxiety and sadness might result if such behavior is not treated. 

People may hunt for others’ flaws to make themselves feel better and prevent comparisons. Having a habit of comparing is just as bad as ripping yourself apart because of what you don’t have or how you don’t appear.

Constantly comparing your life to others will not help you become better and create the life you want.

What Are The Practical Ways To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

To break the comparison impulse, concentrate on improving yourself and increasing your confidence. When you compare yourself to others, you tend to focus on their strengths and ignore your own. Train your thoughts to avoid making unpleasant comparisons.

Instead, strive for compassion and a cheerful mindset. It’s challenging work, but it is rewarding. Here are some more valuable things to do instead of comparing yourself to others. 

Be Mindful Of Your Triggers

Make a list of what or who you frequently envy or compare to, the scenarios and situations that make you unhappy or cynical to enhance your mental health and emotional well-being. Low self-esteem has many root causes, and social media is only one of them.

Is there somebody in your life that constantly criticizes you? Perhaps you feel insecure when a coworker boasts. Perhaps a particular spot causes you to feel guilty, such as browsing an expensive shop in the mall. 

The best way to remind you of your triggers is to list them even on a slip of paper. When you are mindful of circumstances that cause you to create comparisons, you may take steps to prevent them. 

Embrace Your Current Situation

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You cannot change what you never acknowledge. So, make peace with it rather than rejecting or battling where you are. Stop beating yourself up with comparisons, say yes to everything in your life, and then make choices that will lead you on the right path.

When you learn to embrace and accept your current situation, you’ll feel comfortable and satisfied; from then on, you won’t feel the need to compare yourself to others.

Remember That This Is Not the End of The Line

If you’re unhappy with your current situation, realize it’s just an overview of your life. What you are now has nothing to do with where you will be in the following years. It doesn’t matter where you are.

What counts is your thinking, attitude, and direction. Think about your family, friends, home, work, and all the things in your life that are really valuable.

Lessen Your Time On Social Media


Most of us use social media, it keeps us informed about our loved ones, as well as current events, and it increases awareness. However, like all things, moderation is key.

Scrolling too much on social media feeds, particularly regarding lifestyle and aesthetic content, may have a detrimental impact on our self-esteem. We often contrast our own difficult times with someone else’s highlights, without realizing it.

Unfollow accounts that make you feel inferior to others. Turn off your phone at a set period of the day, take a break from social media, and don’t reply to each message or comment. Evaluate if you could use your time on social media more productively. 

Remember That “Money Can’t Buy Happiness.”

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There is a link connecting mental health and financial well-being. The only certainty is that money cannot buy happiness.
 Despite advertisements to the contrary, money does not ensure everlasting joy.

Celebrities’ extravagant lives may persuade us to assume that money can fix our issues, but this is seldom the case. Instead, it just provides fleeting delight. 

Do Not Compare Your “insides” To Others’ “outsides”

Nobody knows what goes on behind the curtain in someone else’s life. Everyone is dealing with their own problems and challenges. Most people only post the best bits of their lives on social media, so remember that you have no idea what’s actually going on in their lives.

This is a fantastic habit to develop. Unless you’re really close to someone, you can’t determine their lives only on their external style. People meticulously edit their social media representations of their lives, and they do likewise with their public lives.

You may have been surprised, as others have been when a seemingly happy and stable couple announced their divorce. Carry on wishing people well, but if their lives make you feel bad about your own, remind yourself that you don’t know what happens behind the scenes.

Appreciate What You Have

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Next time you find yourself comparing what you have to what others have, notify yourself of the things you’re grateful for. It empowers you to concentrate on what you already have instead of focusing on what you don’t. Thank God for the things you have. 

Someone’s life appears to be better, yet there may be someone else out there hoping they had what you have. There’s always something, no matter how little, for which to be thankful. Use these practical ways to improve your gratitude habit. 

Use Comparison To Motivate Yourself

Comparisons may be a fantastic motivation for change as long as they are healthy. Instead of feeling bad or jealous of successful people, consider how they accomplished them. Then figure out how to recreate them. Being motivated to be nicer or more open-minded by somebody you know may lead you to become a better person.

Understand That Comparing Is A State Of Mind

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The irony of comparisons is that they never end since there will always be someone on top of you and below you. There will always be wealthier individuals, no matter how much you generate. Somebody will always be better than you about something, no matter what level you become.

Your sentiments of inadequacy have nothing to do with your current situation. Even if you had the same amount of money as the person you’re looking at, you’d feel the same about the person on the next level.

When you’re stuck in a comparison trap, pretend you’re the person you’re envious of, and then direct your jealousy onto somebody higher up. Then, pretend to be someone envious of you. Consider that comparison is an infinite mental state.

Celebrate Others As Well

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We must be our own strongest supporters, yet self-advocacy and support for others may coexist. Stop constantly comparing yourself and spread happiness by congratulating your friends and colleagues on their achievements instead of getting jealous of someone. 

Keep In Mind That Insecurities Are Universal

It’s natural to compare yourself to someone or others. We all have self-doubts and concerns that get the better of us occasionally. Even the most self-assured individuals experience insecurity from time to time. 

The issue is that too much comparing yourself to others doesn’t elevate your position or respect; rather, it increases your uneasiness and uncertainty. 

Break The Habit and Compare Yourself To Yourself

If you have to pick someone to compare yourself to, make it with yourself. What can you have done to enhance the quality of your life? How can you become a more compassionate and affectionate person?

How can you treat yourself better than you did yesterday? You are the only person you can compare yourself to. Your only true rival is the person you were and your past. Through retrospection, you’ll be able to recognize actual progress and feel happy and proud of what you’ve accomplished.

The Source of Comparison

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There’s a biological explanation for why we naturally tend to compare ourselves to others. Our brain utilizes comparison to determine how we rank to others.

Comparison is one of the most fundamental ways that we gain a knowledge of who we are, what we are excellent at, and what we are not so excellent at.

Usually, this computation is performed in the background in a split second, and we are unaware of it. However, dwelling on the good points of other people’s lives may rapidly become toxic.

We are hardwired for connection and belonging, yet when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we jeopardize our joy, confidence, and psychological well-being.

Final Thoughts

Self-comparison and envy are a thief of joy and a waste of your time. When we compare ourselves to others, we typically feel frustrated, nervous, and unable to progress. It does nothing to assist us in creating the life we desire.

Instead, it makes us feel bad about ourselves and takes away valuable time and energy that could have been spent on building a better version of ourselves.

You give up your power whenever you focus on what others have that you don’t. Each moment you spend comparing yourself to someone else is a minute you’re not spending establishing your own.

Overcoming comparison is a never-ending process, but it is doable! Instead of using others to measure your performance. Harness comparison to assist in setting your objectives and concentrating on self-improvement.  Break the habit of comparison and you can transform into the most excellent version of yourself, for yourself, through time and effort.


What happens when I stop comparing myself to others?

Once you get to know yourself better, you begin to love yourself and become more driven than before. Happiness occurs when your expectations are met by reality.

When you compare yourself to others, you distort your own truth and goals. Knowing oneself allows you to sense the intentions of others.

What drives us to self-compare to others?

It’s human nature to constantly evaluate oneself about others. It may help us understand how good we are at certain things. 

We’re also essentially social beings, constantly checking in with people to see how they think and feel about matters to help us position our perspectives and ideas. Comparison becomes troublesome only when it is motivated by stress and poor self-esteem. 

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